have to

Sometimes, even when it may seen hard, we just do what we have to.

Some problems we think we can solve by letting them fade away. But sometimes, we just need to do what we have to. Though it may be hard to do.

Let me tell you a history. I promise, it won’t be long. But it will be crucial for you to understand what I mean by that.
Yes, I always have problems in my live that I can’t bear. For theses problems, I just let time take care of it. For others, I try to figure out some solutions I can use. There is some thinghs, by the way, I have to take action. Specially when these things start to hurt me.

This is a history of my love life. Or what I can say by having a love life. But, of course, I have had some long time relationships that persisted until recently. And one of these relationships from my past had become my present again. I guess I have been influenced by the time or the context I am living in now. I thought I could trust in one person that I met before. We had a thing. And it ended when I decided I can’t do that anymore. Those games, those histories he created to justify his weaknesses. I thought it had changed. I was wrong.

I was misguided by him. I believed I could trust him again. I coudn’t. In the first chance, he left me using my problems to justify his cowardness. But, at the same time, I was getting to know someone new which I was really liked him. I mean, I still like him. But I thought I can’t fool him. He didn’t deserve that. I was sincere to him and put an an end.

I hurt people because sometimes I have to be honest with myself and with them.

Some time latter, I looked for him in my Facebook to talk to him. I wasn’t expecting he would get me back. I just wanted to clear things up e feel I was doing the right thing. I didn’t expect forgiveness. Just to clear what was wrong. I knew he had excluded me from Facebook and another social networks but it remainded in my whatsapp.

I know I let him down. And now I know I can’t have back what can’t be restored. I was a fool. We started to talk again but he is still ignoring me. His words say one thing. His behavior says, otherwise, all the contrary. I tried not to let this thing be more than it actually is but I can’t do that anymore.

I believe in the reciprocity principle. It means, I will treat you the same way you are treating me. If I am ignored, I’ll do the same. If I am a good treatment, I’ll give the same to you. I think it’s a fair way to deal with people. Sometimes all we need is just do what we have to.

This time I have to be harsh. And move on. Let this episode of my life in where it belongs: the past. I guess it is the right thing to do. There is no better way to do it. I just do. Even if it hurts me. I know I won’t be hurtting anyone. If the wounds are there, they are not cured yet. They are still hurtting. And just time can make things up. Like thi song from Sam Smith, “Too good at goodbyes”.

 

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Written by Israel Anderson

Jornalista por formação, cineasta por estudos e curioso por natureza. Internet por paixão.

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