Everybody claims they don’t have love. I think they are not able to see it
Some weeks ago I published a post about why I don’t use dating apps anymore. I have another reason for that decision too: almost all guys in these services are lying to themselves. They are not there to find love or relationships. They are there to find hook ups, one night stands and other kinds of things like that. But to not sound so cheap, they use words “love” or “relationship”. And many of the guys are more comfortable when they believe it.
But if you look at your Facebook feed or another social networks — specially if you have many gay friends — you will probably see this one thing: they claim that they don’t find love or are not able to grow it. I, personally, have said it many times. I don’t regret it at all. In fact, it is because of that I am learning how to identify when love comes around. Or at least, when it is worthy to engage a relationship with someone.
Love is not an easy thing. Yes, almost everyone says it. I think a little bit different. Loves is not easy when you close yourself to it. I met many guys sometime ago. I have found in them a common thing: they were gentle, kind when we were together. But just in those moments. When I tried being gentle and kind, they always pushed me away from them or even blocked me to get them.
Deny love is the hardest
Soon, I realize that was just a hook up to forget. As time goes by, I’ve seen they – and even me – are not able to grow love or see when it comes around. We simply prefer to get another one and let it go endless. Deny love because of a perfect body and not knowing that we are many things at once is the greatest mistake we do. Mistake that costs us years and loneliness.
I am recently trying to avoid these things. It is not easy as we can think. Loneliness is what drives guys to use these apps to get hook ups. But they don’t identify that denying love is the hardest. Love and be loved requires more than just sex. It requires to be together, stay moments together, create memories together. Together is the key. There is no love that is built alone. Neither are long-lasting relationships.